At most wedding receptions, there will be few speeches given during the course of the event. When done well, they can be very moving and memorable. When done poorly, the toasts can be embarrassing, boring, or can drag on forever. Find out how to plan the speeches at a wedding reception so that they are a nice addition to the event.
First of all, you should determine before your wedding who will give toasts. Typically, it will be the best man, the father of the bride, and the groom. There are others who may wish to say something as well, including the father of the groom (although he may have said his piece already at the rehearsal dinner), the maid of honor, and the bride. Sometimes the siblings of the bride and groom are also interested in giving toasts. It is generally best not to open the floor up to everyone at the reception, however, as the speeches can end up going on until the point where everyone is bored to tears.
Everyone who is going to speak should prepare a short speech beforehand to avoid rambling toasts that seem to go nowhere. A reasonable length for a wedding toast is two to five minutes. If you have a fairly large group of people who wish to give toasts, urge them to limit their remarks to two or three minutes. While that may not sound long, all of those short toasts can start to add up to a long time. The best time to fit the toasts into the schedule is during the salad course at dinner so people can eat while they listen. Never keep your guests waiting for food while the father of the bride goes on and on about how beautiful his little girl looks as a grown up bride in her long white gown and pearl wedding jewelry.
It is not a bad idea to give the people who will speak some hints about what is appropriate to include in a wedding toast - especially if your best man fancies himself a comedian. A good speech involves a few opening pleasantries, such as thanking everyone for coming. It can go on to talk about the first time that the speaker met the bride or groom (only if the story is suitable for guests of all ages!), wish the couple every happiness, etc. At no time should a speaker reveal something personal or embarrassing about the bride or groom or say something embarrassing in an attempt to be funny. Comments from the best man like, "The bride looks so pretty in her dress and wedding jewelry that no one would ever guess she is pregnant!" are never appropriate, whether it is true or not!
Something that will help keep your wedding toasts moving along at a good clip is to put someone in charge. This job can be undertaken by the band leader, m.c., or the best man. That individual should have a list of the order of speakers, so that he can prompt them to come to the microphone in the correct order. It cannot be emphasized enough that wedding guests do not enjoy sitting for a long time listening to toasts, so it is important to keep everything moving along in a timely manner.
Finally, if you will be having any videography at your wedding, be sure to get the toasts recorded. It will be fun to look back over the years and see how misty eyed your father got or how tongue tied the groom was when talking about his luck in marrying the perfect woman. When they are well planned, the toasts will be a nice addition to your wedding reception.
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